so many things happen these few days that i was really fedup. super pek chek. typed this during lunch earlier.

my mind is so cluttered now that i can't work and i need to spill my thoughts out.

What is a birthday celebration? a gathering of friends, throwing of surprises, feeling immense happiness, seeing glad faces, pple having fun. so why are things going wrong @ the very last minute? stuff in my head up to the brim, spilling over, that i don't know what to say first. y is life so complex? or did i make it complex when it is actually very simple? i don't know where to stop or draw the line btwn pleasing my parents and going my own way, making my own decisions, saying my views. from the bottom of my heart i want my parents to be happy cos i obey them and then why am i feeling this resent, not towards my parents, but towards myself? i want to make a decision but my father plays such a huge role in influencing my decisions cos i simply care too of how he feels. sometimes he talks in this pek-chek way that i don't understand why he muz be pek-chek or why he has to respond this way.

i am so so so frustrated and it is so so so frustrating. i'm not going to do anything like this anymore. birthdays are just birthdays, better to have no expectations then getting sorely disappointed.

now @ 0429, stil sore abt the whole thing.. but im trying to look @ it in a different light.

just came home from klink's bachelorette night, nothing fanciful or sleazy. Just nice dinner, ktv, few rounds of uno @ the hotel. =) good clean fun. tired. KO.