I've been complaining a lot. Not a very good testimony =P I think it's bad but im wondering if it's just an outburst? Too many grievances inside of me la so muz let it out once in a while. I tend to hide my true feelings, the way I feel about something, if not, I'll be rather slow to express myself. I'll ponder about something then go, eh not fair! Haha.. lack of wits, what to do? So I let pple think I'm a mild person.. so I'll be easier to bully w/o saying anything?

Recently someone suggested that I was being bullied by a younger colleague. Actually I have never thought of it this way but I merely just grumble & grumble when I get "bullied" Not to be thick skinned but I've always been thought of a nice gal, unless you, whoever you are, that is reading this blog doesn't think so la.. It makes "bullying" me much easier.. & when pple think Im a nice gal, if i were to be a lil nasty or behave abnormally, it is pretty obvious.

Friends are very important pple in your life. Sometimes they make or break you. They play a part in molding you to be the person that you are today. I've witnessed that myself. Like, I could have gone to JC instead of poly (wait ar.. im not regretting my decision) if I mix with the right friends. But if I've not gone to poly, I wouldn't have met pple like g@nz, Jenn, Tobz & not experience poly life in the best way ever. Especially being an SCO.. haha that was like the best part of my life. & for my character, if I've gone to JC, wouldn't my life be more sheltered and I'll be even more susceptible..

Heard one of my church fren, who's younger than me, got together with another church fren. They were very hush hush about it and I think they are not officially together but have kinda confirm they want to look at long term together and taking this step by step slowly. I really admire the patience. Indeed, we must wait upon the Lord and He will give at His best timing.. Looking @ myself and some of my church peers who waited patiently, they have got their answer from God. As for me who rushed into things emotionally and for the thrill of the relationship, it ended on a rather sad note and I end up hurting myself. Sure, there were good memories but sometimes when I think about it, my heart aches. Why put myself through this agony? Can I truly open my heart and let God take over and be the focal point of my life? I want to focus on waiting upon the Lord and everything will fall into place. I may have taken a longer path but it’s never too late.